


We will Smurf soon. Our wrath will be Swift. All these peasants thinking we aren't good. LMFAO

by Xalatath



Category: League of Legends RPF
Genre: Gen, Memes, Multi, no beta no dignity
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 15:13:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29918799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xalatath/pseuds/Xalatath
Summary: League Pastas lmao
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	1. Hyllisick

**Author's Note:**

> this is postmodernism for you no kapp

G2 strut into the LEC studio. They're confident. They know that it's not going to be close.

"We're destroying another bottom FNC roster," Jankos says cockily. "Leave the Hylisuck to me," Rekkles says with a smile. Mikyx laughs. Mikyx was thinking about the leftover Domino’s pizza that was in his fridge. Just then, the FNC come out on the stage. Mikyx 's laugh cuts off as the Hylissang shows himself. He has 5 inch diameter circle glasses, a full out bowl cut, and a Thresh lantern in his hands with Rekkles name on it.

"When I'm done this game you will be sitting here," Hylissang brandishes the lantern and jeers at Rekkles.

Rekkles starts to sweat. For the first maps Hylissang proceeds to 140 assists with 8 Upset penta. At the second map, Nisqy rips off his hot dog costume and throws it to a BrokenBlade in the crowd, who faints, while FNC announces that they are bringing out a prior unknown mid sub: Wunder's Water Elemental.

"This is against the rules," Grabbz says, but Deficio brings out the rulebook which, it turns out, does not specify that League players have to be human.

"How could you do this to me," Wunder sobs to his Water Elemental.

"Brbbb," the Water Elemental brbbb, clearly unimpressed. His allegiance had been changed. The Hylissang wasn't mained Thresh, The Chain Warden all this years for nothing.

The rest of the FNC team afk in fountain while wandering around the stage drinking Game Fuel, listen Shakira and talking about the worrying state of LCS import rule while Wunder's Water Elemental proceeds to 1v9 the G2 to a clean 3-2 sweep. LS tweets that he had been trying to get coaches to pursue Water Elemental talent since Brood War. TSM Reginald with his THIKKKKK paychecks is already there. A new term beyond 교수님 is termed: The Hylisick.   
Hylissang is the Hylisick.  
"Hylissang is the Hylisick," Rekkles whispers to himself as he checks under his bed that night for the Hylissang’s lantern, " Hylissang is the Hylisick."


	2. Fudge Burger

Fudge stared at the burger in his hand.

Normally, he loved chowing down on his Big Mac like he chowed on these beta TOPs like Neo or Licorice or Finn.

But not today.

Today, this burger was a sign of his failure.

The double patties of meat reminded him not of succulent juicy beef but only the mighty veiny vascular muscles of Huni.

The seeded bread buns? It was Huni cheeks as he squatted on Fudge face.

The tomato? It was his blood dripping off Huni’s blade.

The mayo?

You know what it is


	3. Honor ur sup plz

At 3am last night, I was hardcore gaming in League. My Ez play was sparkling, just like my platinum border gold rank profile. All was good, until one fateful game. My glorious 1v9 was stopped, and I saw my Soraka missing Q all around me, as if trying to complete a Ez-shaped connect the dots puzzle.

Through voicechat, I murmured:

"Hey Soraka, do you think you could heal m-"

Immediately I knew I had made a mistake. A cold wind whistled throughout my house. All of a sudden, my ceiling collapsed as FNC Upset Killer Instincting through. I realised his dedicated training had allowed him to incorporate abilities from the game into real-life. I was throwed away from my computer desk towards him, so close I could see my shaking reflection in his thick glasses.

"Hey man, do you think you could tone down on the toxicity a little?" He asked, in a voice so deep it shook my walls and alerted whales thousands of miles away.

"S-sure," I stammered out, sweating like a NA Challengers when they realise they've been put into a game with Tyler1 on SUP and 190 ping.

"I appreciate it man, just tryin' to make a more positive community for everyone. I figure this is a better way than calling people out on stream."

With his mission complete, he dashed out, leaving voice chat and a Kool aid man-esque shape in my wall.

I hope everyone learns from my mistake and is never toxic again. Thank you for reading.


End file.
